So far, I have only talked about the negative reactions I got concerning masturbation and pornography. That’s because, for the most part, those are the typical reactions among Christian women. Or at least they are the reactions that the ones desiring to share their struggles expect to encounter.
Unhelpful reaction #1: There is the reaction similar to my mothers’; that of embarrassment. I do not blame people for having this kind of reaction. The reason they never went through the things I did is likely due to not ever having been exposed to it much, but reacting this way only increases the guilt and shame already felt by the confessor.
Unhelpful reaction #2: Then there is the reaction of disgust like my friends had at the college presentation. This one can be particularly devastating to a Christian. Although you may not be intentionally condemning the people around you, merely saying how disgusted you are by it can drive a friend away from bringing their struggles into the light.
Unhelpful reaction #3: The worst reaction I found was when I made a search on the web trying to find information for young Christian girls struggling with masturbation. Unfortunately, I only found one encouraging testimony and the rest was mediocre. I found several Christian sites giving tips on how to masturbate and how there was nothing wrong with it; this would not have helped me since I felt convicted by the Holy Spirit for my actions. On the other extreme, I found websites that condemned it to the point that I wanted to find the person that wrote it and shake them!
In fact one of the websites I found was so convincing that I thought it was an actual blog. It turned out it was on a website that makes fun of certain types of Christians by mocking the way that they talk about things. The sad part about this is that I couldn’t tell the difference until I looked further into where this blog came from.
Here is a sample of the response:
Masturbation is another form of pornography that will infest your daughter’s mind and serve as a gateway to far worse sexual activities….
So first, have a talk with your daughter and pray with her. Pray all that sinful desire of masturbation right out of her heart. Throw the device away, and then enroll her in some abstinence counseling sessions. These will teach your daughter the value and need of respecting her body until marriage. Masturbation is very unnatural and by taking proactive steps to get this bizarre behavior out of your teen’s life, you’ll ensure she has a better future
It really saddens me that this mocking take on Christians is actually something that I have seen in reality on other sites and heard in conversations around me.
Don’t let your reaction to these topics be like the three examples above, especially the last two. For in what way is that considered loving?