I called my friend up after a while and told her I needed to talk to her about something serious. For anonymity’s sake, I will call her Angela. I still didn’t want a soul to know what I was dealing with, but I couldn’t ignore God anymore. Angela sounded a bit confused on the phone, but was more than willing to have me over for a chat.
As I sat on her living room sofa, I couldn’t help but feel embarrassed about what I was about to tell her. I said every vague phrase I could think of to try to get her to understand what it was I was dealing with. It was easier to tell her that I had been addicted to pornography because that was now past tense. But to tell her that I was continuing to masturbate and having a hard time seeking the Lord because of it was like pulling teeth.
I circled around the word for a little bit until she finally just asked me, “Are we talking about masturbating?” I sighed and said yes.
“Oh, well I have struggled with that for years, ever since I was young” she said.
There was no condemnation in her voice, no embarrassment, no disgust. I could already feel what I had hidden for so long in my life getting a breath of fresh air. Perhaps I wouldn’t have to do this alone anymore.
I began to open up more with other people as well. It turned out that there were several people whom I respected and loved that dealt with the same things I did. If I hadn’t talked to Angela, I may have never come to know this. I would have had no other human being to talk to; no one to lend a sympathetic and understanding ear.
It has now become a part of my testimony and God has shown me that those who love him know how to respond to my experiences. Not everyone I have shared this with has been through the same things, but they have responded in love and praise God with me for all of the victories in my life.
I wrote the previous post because I wanted people to understand the reality Christians face. One person can prevent a scenario like the one above from occurring for years or a lifetime. Reacting negatively to this topic can essentially stunt growth in a Christian woman and keep them from being exposed to the light that they need.
And if you are one of those women who have overcome, don’t keep your testimony and thoughts all to yourself. Be honest and open like Angela and you just may change a young girl’s life forever.