Let Us Encourage One Another

So I have been walking in freedom for 2-3 years now when it comes to my struggles with masturbation. There really isn’t any reason for me to share my experiences with other people anymore. They will be weirded out and think differently of me. I mean writing on this blog is one thing, but talking to people personally is quite another. I think I could get along just fine without mentioning my past to another person that knows who I am.

Did anyone feel uncomfortable with what I just wrote? Something is off about it. And yet, I feel like that has to be the attitude of so many Christian women to make a topic like this one so secret.

You have all seen the statistics now. If not, just look at my first entry. There are more Christian women out there that have dealt with this/are dealing with it than many of us are lead to believe. So, why was I left in the dark and all alone?

There are several possible explanations. Perhaps it is that you are still holding on to that sense of shame and embarrassment that has ruled your decisions for so long. Or maybe you don’t think that your past is anyone else’s business. It’s true; your past isn’t for most people to know, but there may be some who would benefit greatly from what you have to say.

Every time I hear God telling me, “It’s time to tell them about your past” I get a little bit nervous. What if they don’t get it? What if no one here is dealing with it? All of the doubts and questions pop into my mind, but each time I share because of His prompting, I have never been disappointed.

If you are wondering where I am talking about masturbation and pornography to people, that is a good question!

So far, I have talked to girls in my youth group, women in my small group, and certain individuals.

God may tell you to do something really scary, approach someone you don’t even know and tell them your past. But most likely, your chance of sharing with others is going to occur when you are in community with others.

I have noticed that Paul likes the word encourage. It is in almost every book he has written to the church. One verse that really sticks out to me is in 1 Thessalonians 5:14. The NIV version puts it like this, “…encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone”.

Encourage the disheartened? I wonder how many women are disheartened by their fight with masturbation and/or pornography. You have been through it! You can encourage them!

I hope and pray that I have been able to encourage someone through this post to speak out. Maybe you have heard from the Lord recently, and He wants you to share your past. Don’t be afraid. He will be with you. The reward of encouraging the disheartened and helping the weak is greater than you can ever imagine.

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4 thoughts on “Let Us Encourage One Another

  1. That was an awesome post! I have been told that I shouldn’t have to talk about my addiction to porn and masturbation because it seems like I’m being self-centered. I’ve been told to “just move on”. I reject that opinion. I feel that it would steal the opportunity to get real with people who need just that. Also, there are likely to be people struggling with the very same issues. If I am quiet, who will they be able to open up to. How I longed to hear someone speak up and admit they had the same struggle as me. But no-one did! I will never be silent about this–not for self-centered reasons–but for the sake of others. As far as forgetting the past goes… I can never remove who I was–it’s now part of me. It’s part of my testimony. If I don’t tell people what I was saved from, how can they believe in salvation and how can they know the power of God? Why would I want to take away God’s glory by being silent? I’m so extremely grateful for the freedom I’m finding and I can’t help but share it with anyone with which I might have opportunity! Keep going!

  2. Such a great post! I have recently talked to people about my own struggle and I find that others then talk about their struggle. As christians, we need to help each other in this area because you cannot walk it out alone.

  3. Great post! I think it’s great that you are following God’s leadings and speaking out when he directs you to.

    How did you go about sharing about masturbation with the girls in your youth group? I’ve shared about porn, masturbation, and same-sex attraction before in a co-ed youth group setting and am wondering what your time looked like.

    • I only spoke to the girls that I help lead, so I have never spoken in a large group setting. My husband and I both lead one of the grades in the youth group and when we did small group with them we talked about the importance on confession. The guys went with him and the girls with me. I wasn’t even planning on sharing my history with them until that moment. None of them said anything, but two of the girls (there were only 5 of them) came to me afterwards telling me they were struggling with porn and they didn’t realize any other girls did. They thought they were all alone.

      Just one of the few examples I have so far of how absurd it is that these girls somehow go years thinking they are all alone.

      Thanks for the question! 🙂

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