Masturbation: It’s Not Disgusting

I mentioned it before in A Breath of Fresh Air, but I want to focus on it for this particular entry.

I had a really hard time even saying the word masturbation when I first brought what I was dealing with to my friend. Even after that I felt awkward and weird saying the word. My friend said it with ease and basically forced me to use the word just so she knew that we were on the same page.

Recently, I had a young woman share her past and present struggles with me. She was a reflection of myself a few years ago. She felt like she was the only one dealing with masturbation, but when it came time to tell me the truth she couldn’t say the word. She kept telling me how disgusting it was. I wasn’t trying to be mean, but like my friend, I forced her to use the word.

After I talked to her, I wondered why I followed in my friends footsteps. What is the importance of becoming comfortable using the word masturbation?

There are a few reasons that I came up with, but only a couple that I find are really important.

First of all, it prevents miscommunication from occurring. Until you actually define what it is you are dealing with, people you share your life with aren’t going to know how best to pray for you. Using words like “struggling” and “lust” aren’t going to get the point across. Do you know how many forms struggling and lusting can take? You will ensure that the prayers you receive will be as general and vague as you are. And you may run into a few people praying for things that don’t even apply to you!

More importantly though, being comfortable with the word erases the link of shame that you have placed on it. Masturbation is real and most people deal with it at some point in life. You may not have realized that until now, but it doesn’t change the fact. As a Christian, it may not be beneficial for you, but it isn’t disgusting. If you have masturbated, you are not a disgusting person.

Let me repeat that. You are not a disgusting person.

If your desire is to stop masturbating, telling yourself that you are disgusting and worthless and imposing self-hate will get you nowhere. Those are lies, so stop believing them! You may lack self-control, be out of touch with the Holy Spirit, or simply bored and not doing enough with your life. All of which can be corrected.

Words can have power, and sometimes that power is negative. In years past, I was allowing this one word to wreak havoc in my soul and tell me I was something I was not. Don’t allow it to do the same thing to you.

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4 thoughts on “Masturbation: It’s Not Disgusting

  1. A lot of truth there! My word is “porn”. I found it very difficult at first to call it by its name. “Struggling” was easier to say. But, I’ve been calling it by name, loud and clear, almost like I’m pointing straight at the enemy with vengeance. It feels really good. Sometimes in conversations, I will just bust out with “I’m writing a book about porn addiction”. (I don’t mean just randomly, but when they ask what I’m doing). People’s reactions are very interesting. But, they always respect my boldness to uncover this common, but secretive, addiction.

  2. I think the key is what you say in the last paragraph, words have power. When we are able to name something we are bringing out of the darkness into the light. We are exposing it and in doing so we exposing part of ourselves. There is so much power is speaking things aloud. My word was definitely “addict.” It took me years to admit that I was addicted, but after I was able to say it and bring it out of the shadows of my inner self everything changed!

  3. I just read your entire blog. What amazing thoughts and words! You have addressed my experiences, thought processes, and questions exactly! I just want to say a big AMEN to everything you’ve written. Thank you for your honesty. Thanks for writing this blog.

    I would ask you to continue to pray for me. I often feel numb toward the Holy Spirit and life in general and the apathy always leads to my destructive behaviors, masturbation being one of them.

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