Masturbation – Wesley Hill

John Piper posted this on facebook the other day and I thought I would share it as well. 

Obviously, he is writing this for the benefit of men, but I think it could be applicable for women as well. He definitely has some interesting ideas that many would probably find intolerant, but I tend to agree with most all of what he has to say on the subject.

http://www.firstthings.com/blogs/firstthoughts/2014/02/escaping-the-prison-of-the-self

A Change of Pace

I have been writing this blog for nearly a year now. Almost every single Sunday, I have posted something that I hope has been beneficial to my readers and glorifying to God. But I have hit a wall. I have prayed about it and sat staring at the computer screen trying to think of something to write. And I end up with nothing. I mean I have thoughts, but none that seem significant enough to put out there. I feel like I am in danger of writing things just to write, of being repetitive, of trying to do this without the Lord.

I know there are plenty of things to be said in regards to pornography and masturbation. Both topics are equally unique but a huge part of who I am today. They have both caused me endless hours of frustration and anguish, and at the same time have given me perspective and understanding in a culture that becomes more and more sexualized with each new day. I desire to write about these topics, but I feel like God is telling me to wait and to dig deeper.

But I don’t want to let my readers down! Even the few that have been helped by this blog are important to me. Are you really finished with me concerning this topic, Lord?”

I don’t think He is finished. I think this may just be the beginning, or at least I am praying it is. But I may not have posts every Sunday like before. I may have to enter a season of research and talking to others. I need to gather data and stories and in turn share them with the world.

I know some of you reading this have your own stories and your own thoughts. I encourage you to take the opportunity I am presenting right now. I want you to write for this blog. Of course, I would have to approve of your writing, because let’s be honest here, I am trying to reflect Christ and can’t allow anything that would be dishonoring to Him. But I want to have different perspectives and other girls, teens, and women who just need to get some things off their chest and out in the open. I want this to be a place where you can release the pain that porn may have caused you. The frustration and confusion masturbation has granted you.

All I can do is ask. It’s up to you whether or not you answer. Until then, I will be seeking out what God would have for me with this blog. I am praying it will be far better than anything I could have dreamed of. I push on not because of my own strength, but because of Him who saved me from my sin and gave me a new name and a pure heart. I can never repay Him and I never have to. So I will press on until he would have me finish.

Stephanie: An Open Book

Submitted By: Stephanie

I didn’t know what was going on with my body or what I was feeling. I didn’t know what to call it. I didn’t know if it was wrong or if it was normal. At first, all I knew was that it felt good. I wasn’t even a teenager yet.

It was years before I even heard the word “masturbation” and some years more before I put it together that that was what was going on. Up until that realization there had been a kind of indescribable confusion and regret that existed, but after a label was applied to my actions the shame and humiliation that followed was immense and drove me into further secrecy. For years I tried to fight it off, to end it, but it seemed there were triggers all around me sending me back to that act I despised naming.
I truly believed I was the only one I knew who struggled with it and I dare not test that hypothesis by asking questions; Lord knows I sure didn’t hear the word “masturbation” in church. So I kept it to myself, at least I tried. Something in me felt I had to tell someone and the scriptures that talked about confessing haunted me. So I decided to admit to some very close friends that I struggled with “lust.” That’s what I called it because lust, well everyone struggles with that and it was a broad enough label that I felt safe behind it; God could have His way and I could have mine. Although it wasn’t enough, not because it wasn’t enough for Him, but because it wasn’t enough for me in my own heart.
One night a younger girl on a youth leadership team pulled all the female leaders into a private meeting where she boldly confessed to us all her struggle with pornography; she just had to get it out in the open. Little did she know what that would start. Her confession gave the rest of us courage to open up and open up we did. Turns out every single one of my friends, who served in leadership positions with me, struggled with masturbation at some point in their life. We all had thought we were alone all that time.
I was in high school when that little saving grace occurred. Confessing to my friends gave me strength to stand up to something I hated; it made a lot of the shame go away and I found myself enriched with a boldness to lay my struggle out there for other girls so that at least they wouldn’t feel so alone like I did for all those years. But there was still some shame hanging on, shame that I wouldn’t be free from for another 4 years when I finally gained the courage to tell my mom.
See, when God made me, He made me an open book; I naturally share what I go through and I don’t have a lot of shame about it- it’s how I’ve always been. But what masturbation did was it robbed me of that. With masturbation being in my life suddenly I had something to hide, suddenly I had shame. So, for me, confessing was what was necessary to bring me back to me. I don’t think that masturbation was the great sin that needed forgiveness. I think the bigger “sin” was me not being who I was created to be and allowing something to muddle core parts of my being. I think that broke my God’s heart more than the act itself; having to watch me be robbed of the true nature He Himself had put within me. I have come to believe that God cares far more about us than He does about what we do. Whether that be the great and holy things we can do for Him or the hurtful and shameful things we can do despite Him, He cares for us. He cares about us.

Husbands: What Does God Think of Your Sex Life?

My husband has been asking me if he could write a post for my blog for a little while. Of course, I was thrilled and he finally sat down and wrote one out. Hopefully, there will be more to come in the future!

My wife was my first kiss, so I think it’s safe to say we did the whole purity thing pretty strictly before we got married. That’s not to say I was naive exactly. Aside from the distorted information I had gotten from pornography, I spent a lot of time researching anything I could find about sex before our wedding night. I read books, blogs, forums, anything I could find about what sex was like for real people. It was also helpful to talk to several couples about their advice and experience.

Several of them surprised me, though. They wouldn’t admit it in front of me and their husbands, but several women admitted to my wife that they weren’t getting what they needed out of sex in the beginning of their marriage. One even said she still wasn’t getting what she needed, despite talking to her husband again and again about it.

I was so confused. My stereotype of marriage from sitcoms and even sermons was that the husband was always the one begging for more or different sex and the wife was the one turning him down.

While I still can’t say I totally relate, on our honeymoon, I began to understand where the root of that problem might lay: pleasing a woman sexually can be hard. On our honeymoon we learned that my wife didn’t have an orgasm from sex. She liked sex, but it didn’t satisfy her. After sex, I was satisfied and she was more turned on than ever and ready to do more. Within the first two days, we had sex 10 times, and I was exhausted. For the first time in my life, I honestly would have rather been sleeping than having sex. So when my wife woke me up in the middle of the second night and I genuinely couldn’t do it anymore, she was hurt and I was afraid. We talked through it, but we didn’t know what to do and I think she went back to sleep frustrated.

It wasn’t until the third or fourth day of our honeymoon, after she had grown comfortable enough with me touching her, that I was able to give her an orgasm from touching her clitoris. This was finally the satisfaction she needed.

What we learned was that my wife craves an orgasm every two to three days, whereas I crave one pretty much every day. This was really frustrating for me, because giving her an orgasm can take a long time, especially the first several months of marriage when it would take up to an hour. Doing it isn’t directly pleasurable to me, and sometimes it was even annoying. Frankly, sometimes my hand gets tired, my arm goes numb, and once I think I even fell asleep for a minute. Sometimes I know that her body needs an orgasm because it has been three or four days, and I have to talk her into having one because she doesn’t even feel the need in that moment, but will later. That’s so different from my body; I can’t even believe we are the same species sometimes. But the more I do it, the more I see it as a) incredibly sexy to please my wife, and b) a godly responsibility I have as a husband.

This is what I didn’t understand going in to marriage. I thought my wife would want exactly what I wanted, sex, just a little less often. The truth is she has a much more intense, time consuming need that doesn’t align at all with my desire, and if she doesn’t get that, she is dissatisfied no matter how much we do what I want. People so often think of 1 Corinthians 7:5-6 as verses directed at women:

The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband.  For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

But it’s fitting that it addresses men first, because in reality it applies even more to men. I have to make sure my wife is taken care of, and in some ways it’s more of a sacrifice for me because I don’t get pleasured at the same time that she does. That’s fitting since I’m the man, the one called to love her like Christ loved the Church, forsaking his own pleasures and desires to serve his bride.

And from what I’ve heard talking to other married couples, it seems to me that men are just as likely to be selfish and unwilling to please their wives as wives are toward their husbands. If you are a husband who doesn’t take the time to please your wife as often as she needs it, you are failing her. There are many purposes of marriage, but you are failing at least two of them if you aren’t working to fulfill her desires: protecting her from sexual temptation, and representing the glory of God in the sacrifice of Christ for the Church.

At the end of time when I give an account to God of how I stewarded my marriage, I’m certain that he will be pleased with my sacrifices for her, to protect her and to glorify him. Husbands, if you are getting what you need from your wife and that keeps you from sinning, good for you, but in light of everything she needs, I have to ask you, is God pleased with your sex life?

What are You Consuming?

I am sure many of you are familiar with the author Francine Rivers and her “Mark of the Lion” book series and book “Redeeming Love.” And many of you may have made the same mistake that I am about to share with you.

I am an avid reader and I would call the way that I read devouring rather than simply reading. Back when I had all the time in the world, I would often finish 800 page books within several days if not in one day. As I matured in my faith, I realized that that may be an idol in my life and while reading in and of itself was not bad, the way I read was.  I read all sorts of books, ranging from classics to fantasy world books (you know dwarves, elves, dragons and the like).  The problem with such a wide range of tastes is that it is very difficult to filter out what you end up consuming in the process.

With movies, you can just look at a rating or a review and find out if you really want to risk the possibility of exposing your heart and mind to things you know aren’t good for it. There are reviews for nearly every movie that is in existence. But for books? Well, I don’t know if it would even be possible for there to be reviews of book content because of the enormity and variety of books that are out there.

In the books I read (especially the fantasy ones) things were planted within them that caused me to struggle. Unfortunately, sex is now permeated very thoroughly throughout our culture and entertainment. It is difficult to fend off, especially within books. I never read those books you see with the half naked men and women on the front that are obviously entirely about sex and probably viewed as “soft porn.” But I didn’t have to. Within most books that I read, there were usually at least one or two sexually stimulating scenes. It was a huge problem for me and stirred up lust and awakened thoughts and desires I didn’t know existed. Once in my mind, it was more difficult to remove it than I ever would have imagined. As most of you know, these scenes in books stopped satisfying and I began to look to porn more and more often. I guess you could say that, for me, books were my “gateway” to porn.

This particular post has a happy and somewhat humorous ending to it though. As I said in the beginning, this whole story has something to do with Francine Rivers. After I finally confessed my sins to my friend, I had stopped reading books that I knew might have sex scenes within them. So, basically I only read Christian fiction, some classics, and books that I knew Christian friends of mine had already read and deemed appropriate. Francine Rivers had a great track record with me and I wanted to read more of her work.

One thing my friend (who also loves the author) forgot to mention was that Rivers was not always a Christian. In fact, she wrote books that many would call soft porn before her encounter with Jesus. I picked one of her older books out at the library and inside the cover was written in pencil “soft porn.” How clueless could I get? I ignored the writing thinking it was some joke and started to read. At first I was a little taken aback by how detailed she was getting and then I started to realize that the added labeling in the front cover was no joke.

It was a struggle to put the book down and refuse to pick it back up again. But I did, and immediately asked my friend why in the world Rivers wrote this book? She laughed quite a bit and told me about the writer’s past. I had enough hints and clues to have known better, but for some reason was oblivious at the time. I haven’t been that careless since.

You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is good for you. You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is beneficial.

1 Corinthians 10:23

Married Women: Have We Forgotten Singleness?

Recently, I talked to a friend of mine who is in her late twenties and single. She has talked to several different women, married and not, and had one question during our conversation that really stood out to me. “Do married women just forget what it’s like to be single?”

Her question came up after a long discussion about whether or not masturbation was wrong. Several women have given her great advice on this matter, but there are many who immediately tag it as a sin and expect single women to deal with it. To paraphrase…“I mean of course it is a sin, right? I, as a married woman, certainly don’t have a problem with it and I only need to have sex every other week and I’m good.”

Obviously there are several things that do not help a single woman, struggling with masturbation. If you have a low sex drive to begin with, you probably never dealt with masturbation the way women like us do. Not only that, but a married woman is getting her needs met if communication is good with her husband. As married women, we really need to think about what our advice and answers are going to be to this single, sex saturated generation. You can’t just throw out the first answer that comes to mind, especially if it isn’t something you struggle with anymore (if you ever did).

Single women do not need us making them feel worse than they already do for their struggles. If a person is convicted by masturbation, by all means walk with them and encourage them, hold them accountable and confront them on it. But telling them they should just stop in a matter of fact way is extremely unhelpful. They already know they need to stop, otherwise why would they be coming to you with it? And most likely it is something they have been struggling with since they were younger and have tried over and over again to stop, failing and feeling miserable about it.

So what can you do? You can start by praying about these women and asking the Holy Spirit to give you wisdom. Every woman is different, and the words they need to hear the Lord speak through you are specific to them. There is no formulaic answer. As married women, we need to start stepping up our game in the way we disciple the single women that are asking for our help and wisdom.

And if you are a single woman and you don’t know who to go to with this, start praying! God will reveal it to you. You don’t have to talk to a married woman, but you should ask that God direct you to someone who has overcome. When you are in the midst of your sin, it is easy to believe there is no end in sight and you will just always fail in this way. But when you know someone who has made it past that infinite line, the hope that has always been there becomes more than a dream

 “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.”

–          Romans 15:13

Mari R: My Battle With “Masturbation”

Submitted By: Mari R

Greetings and God bless! I feel honored (and a bit nervous) to have the privilege of fully sharing my story of my battle with “masturbation” for the first time. I added quotations around the word masturbation because God showed me that the struggle actually was a lot deeper than that.  My desire is that whosoever reads this will be greatly encouraged, and that through Jesus Christ we are more than conquerors.

And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure.  For this thing I besought the Lord three times, that it might depart from me. And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.”         – II Corinthians 12:7-10 (KJV)

Around the age of 10 years old, puberty came knocking at my door… almost knocking it down. I became what is affectionately known in the Hispanic community, “a woman.” I was quite aware of what it was because my mom gave me “the talk” beforehand, especially since I was, to her, showing signs that my period was coming. I guess ever since then, that’s when I began to really, and I mean really notice boys.

I grew up in a slightly dysfunctional, but an overall great family. I had a mom, dad, and one older brother who to this day, I am very close to. I praise God that I never underwent any kind of “exposure” to any sexual material at a young age, such as porn or even sexual abuse. My family and I were very open and could talk about everything – even sex. I knew what it was, and like many of you, I knew that it was meant for marriage. Why? I had no idea.

During my early adolescent years I became like almost every teenage girl; I loved fantasizing about the future such as having a “real” boyfriend, marriage, kids, etc. Though, it was during those times that those innocent fantasies became not so innocent. Sex started to be on my mind…constantly. I was curious, but that curiosity then later turned into actions. I remember the first time I masturbated (with my sexual fantasies) was at the age of 12 years old. I felt completely ashamed and dirty. I asked God for forgiveness immediately, but the guilt remained persistent. It wasn’t until I turned 14, that my addiction started. By that time, I still felt guilty, but slowly Satan persuaded me through “coming-of-age” teenage websites, that it’s “normal.” That all female humans need to explore their sexuality. That you can actually find techniques on how to do it. And so I did. I would read techniques on this “innocent” adolescent website. I eventually learned about my clitoris, vulva, g-spot, and etc. The stories on the site were graphic, and they only added to my sexual fantasies. By then, I was masturbating almost daily. I would make a quick prayer, and then get into my bed and masturbate. Ha! How horrible. The Holy Spirit definitely was not there with me.

At the age of 17, I REALLY dedicated my life to Christ. I prayed, fasted, read the Word, lead worship service, and helped with youth group. My addiction was pushed to the side, and I was on God’s team again. Until…it came back. The thoughts of sexual encounters, the unsatisfied urges. I feared that God would give me over to my lusts (Romans 1:24). But then something wonderful happened. I had met a wonderful guy, who so happens to be my husband of only 3 years so far. I thought that when I got married, that all those “urges” would disappear. That I can FINALLY be free from sin because I am “allowed” to have sex. I was wrong.

I had soon discovered that my amazing husband and I were not compatible sexually. My husband, although perfectly healthy in ALL ways, is less sexually driven than I am. Sure, I am content with it now, but in the beginning, it made me angry, sexually flustered, and bitter. I mean isn’t it always the man who wants more sex and who has to almost beg his wife for sex? Am I even normal? But the reality was, I was sick. Sick and completely depraved by my sin.

Then one night, after handling over my addiction to Christ, tears flooded my face. I told Him that I was sick of it. That my sin had distanced me far, far away from his presence. All the countless amount of times in the past of me pleading and almost fighting with God to remove my addiction, was always asked for the wrong reasons. I wanted it only for MY glory. I WANTED to feel good. I WANTED to be free. None of it was to allow God to show his grace and power in my life. Deep down, I had sincere intentions of honoring God with my body, but I was still selfish and sought my own desires. He then showed me that my addiction had an even bigger root. I actually struggled with discontentment. When my husband wasn’t “pleasing” me the way that I THOUGHT he should, I would “escape” into one of my fantasies which included a perfect life, with an even better sex partner. How pitiful.

Not only was I dishonoring my Heavenly Bridegroom, I was sinning against my earthly bridegroom. I was an adulterer in my mind (Matthew 5:8), lacked self-control, I was selfish, and a nagging wife. My husband has his flaws, but they are greatly outweighed by all of the wonderful qualities he possesses. One of the main ones being – patience. He knows my struggle and he sympathizes and prays for me. I seriously don’t deserve him.

So after that night, I began to renew my mind daily. Filling it with the Word of God and with prayer. The Lord lead me to read the 1st and 2nd book of Corinthians which happens to be loaded with verses about sexual sin. I allowed God to be my accountability partner. Every time I felt those desires coming again, I would let Him know, and his presence kept me safe. I truly learned what it is to be submissive, not only to my hubby, but most importantly, to Christ. I learned that my high sex drive is a PERFECT gift from Christ (James 1:17), but I needed to learn how to use it for His glory alone within my marriage.

So ladies, if any of you struggle in this area, there IS freedom. Like the verse quoted in the beginning of my story, I believe that this struggle is a “thorn on my side,” but by the Grace of God I am FREE. After that night, those thoughts about my alter-ego life supernaturally disappeared. That doesn’t mean that those thoughts don’t try to appear again. Satan is like a roaring lion, looking to whom to devour, and when he sees that you’re free indeed, he tries even harder to attack. I will not allow the enemy to make me think that I am not free if I happen to slip-up again, because rather than running away from God, I run TO Him.

I tried my best to keep this 9 year battle as short as possible, but I close with this:

“So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall! No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted,he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” I Corinthians 10:12-13

If you would like to share your own testimony feel free to let me know by sending me a comment below or emailing me at mtorik89@gmail.com and I will respect your anonymity.

My Testimony II

Picking up where I left off: I began to take my sin more seriously starting in my Senior year of high school and that is also when porn/masturbation really started to take a toll on my life.

In a stretch of about three years, I became truly addicted to pornography. I may not have viewed it as often as other porn addicts do, but I had no self-control and would watch it in the family living areas on my newly acquired laptop even when my family was home. I began to despise myself and feel depressed and cried out to God like I had never done before. I wanted it to end. I couldn’t keep living life in this way.

He told me what to do: “Tell someone.” I knew that is what he was asking of me, that it was where the end of my misery would have to begin. But in so many ways that sounded like the worst idea ever! If I told someone, they would look at me differently; with disgust, shock, horror, and disdain. They might even tell other people I knew and then everyone would know me for what I was. Girls just didn’t masturbate and girls certainly didn’t watch porn. No one would understand this.

But I knew I didn’t just have to tell anyone, I had to tell a certain friend. I didn’t. I told my mom. It was the worst decision I could have made because at the two years that were the hardest, I added another year of misery to my life. My mom promptly tried to forget I ever told her and was embarrassed and the subject was not brought up again until after I got married and I was confident in who I was.

A year later, I was at an event about sex trafficking at our town’s college. They talked about how women were often trafficked and used for porn films and the people viewing them couldn’t distinguish when a woman had been trafficked. I wanted to throw up.

Some of my girlfriends started to talk about how they can’t imagine anyone viewing porn let alone any women. “I mean how could women view pornography? It’s so disgusting!” My friend that I knew I should tell was there and piped in saying that she used to look at it. What? I wasn’t alone.

I finally worked up the courage to talk to her and things began to change from then on. I obeyed Christ, and immediately found peace and the freedom that I always had. I no longer allowed my desires to control me, but prayed and studied God’s Word even more. I began to take Jesus more seriously. I still struggled with masturbation until the day I got married and it could still be a very real struggle for me if my husband ever dies or we have a rough patch in our marriage. I know that I am not immune to my body’s physical desires. But the lust is no longer there. I haven’t looked at porn intentionally since the day I told my friend and confessed my sin to another person.

Since then, I would say that I am a completely different person than I was during those three years (and I wasn’t even very bad in the outward sense). My desires are more like Christ’s desires and He has transformed what I really want from life to be more Holy. I will always have sins and issues that I need to work on, but sin is no longer my master. Jesus Christ is. Once I was able to wrap my head around what Christ truly did on the cross, I understood that every sin I had done and every sin I would commit was washed away by His blood.

And now I can honestly say that I am excited for the day that I get to be in my Savior’s presence in eternity. He is just so much better than all the pleasures that this world has to offer. Now, my greatest desire is to please God.

And this world is fading away, along with everything that people crave. But anyone who does what pleases God will live forever. – 1 John 2:17

Feel free to leave me any comments or thoughts you may have on this topic using the form below. Also, if you would like to share your own testimony, please email me at mtorik89@gmail.com and I will respect your anonymity.

My Testimony

I posted recently inviting people to share their testimony on this blog. I have a couple of people working on sending me theirs, but until then I thought I would share my full testimony. I have given bits and pieces of it in different blog posts, but never have I written it out fully.

I grew up in a somewhat typical Christian home. We went to church ever since I can remember, although my Dad stopped going when a scandal of sorts occurred with the pastor there stealing money from the church. My mom continued to take us kids to church though and I enjoyed going. I got baptized when I was 6 or 7 (to be honest all of my childhood memories blend together and to remember an exact age is a miracle). I would say that I loved Jesus, but I don’t think I really knew what it meant to follow him.

My older brothers stopped going to church with us when they reached high school. I am not really sure why they even had an option, but it wouldn’t surprise me to know that they used the argument that if my Dad never went, they shouldn’t have to go either. It never crossed my mind that I didn’t want to go to church. I just felt like I should.

When I was around ten or so, I discovered masturbation. I had no idea what I was doing, I just knew that it felt really good and I knew exactly where it was that made me feel that way. I wish it had ended there, but curiosity got the best of me and living in a house of  all brothers, you hear some things that you might not otherwise. Not only that, but I first learned about sex from a friend of mine. I didn’t know exactly what she meant by her definition, but it made me curious and the internet was very accessible for me.

I searched the term sex and saw pictures that repulsed me and at the same time drew me to them and I wanted to see more. My Dad walked in and I remember absolutely nothing else about what happened. There was no conversation afterwards, just a deep sense of shame and feeling like I had done something very wrong. I was a sick, twisted little girl in my mind.

Once you view porn, it is hard not to go further. It started out with pictures for me and then progressed into inappropriate movie scenes, which made me realize that I could look up videos of this stuff online as well. There were years that I didn’t look at porn as much, but there were also years that I looked at it a lot, especially in my later high school/early college years.

Why is all of this such a huge part of my testimony? Because I truly believe porn combined with masturbation is what stunted my growth as a believer. I was sinning and unable to break free from it. And I wasn’t turning to the Lord when I messed up, I ran from Him and covered my head in shame for weeks every time I looked at porn and/or masturbated. Masturbation wasn’t something that was done in innocence for me anymore. It was always accompanied by lustful fantasies, raunchy scenes in books, or video pornography. So whether or not I actually viewed porn, I was left feeling empty and defeated and far from God.

My Senior year of high school was when things began to turn around for me. You might be asking yourself, “Isn’t that when you struggled the most?”  Yes, it is. But it is also the time when I started to take my sin more seriously. And Satan wasn’t about to make it that easy for me.

I will share the rest of my testimony in my next post. For now I want to leave you with this:

When your struggle with sin is the hardest it has ever been, remember this: God is there with you and He will never forsake you. The fact that you are not resigned to your sin and wish to defeat it is a big deal and something God can work with. You are free in Christ. Don’t let sin tell you otherwise!

“So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” – John 8:36

Search Terms That Make You Wonder…

I don’t have posts that are super light-hearted very often. Actually, make that never. But I can’t resist any longer, so here it goes.

As I am sure you have noticed, the title of my blog is pretty simple, could be considered controversial, and can also be misunderstood. To be honest, that is how I want it. I don’t want this to be a place that only Christians come across (although Christians are probably the main ones that are even contemplating the pros v. cons of masturbation). I want my blog to be something that anyone could happen upon regardless of their religion. I want people to know Jesus.

But now that I have been running this blog for more than six months, I have a good picture of what kind of person is viewing my blog when looking at their search terms. Sometimes, it is too good of an idea.

By now, most of you probably know my stance on pornography (it is pretty negative). If not, I will do a post on it sometime in the future I am sure. So, when I see some of these search terms I can’t help but laugh inside sometimes. For instance, a search term like “women who masturbate porn sex” makes me think that they were probably looking for something other than a Christian blog. And the fact that their search was interrupted by clicking on my blog kind of makes me sad and delighted at the same time.

I said I wasn’t going to get too deep in this blog, so I am just going to leave you with my top most ridiculous, disturbing, and hilarious search terms so far. Here it goes!

  1. “Women masturbation honeymoon” has actually come up quite a bit.
  2. “Women masturbate for cash” That is really sad.
  3. “Women are unhelpful” I literally laughed about that one.
  4. “Homeless people and health care” Haha! I did write a post kind of on this topic once, but I bet this person was a little shocked that my blog came up for it.
  5. “Masturbating with sheep heart” I really just don’t understand.
  6. “How to masturbate a goat” If someone wants to explain why anyone would be searching this, feel free (I may or may not allow your comment). This was searched several times. It is disturbing.

Those were the most outrageous so far. When I look through my search terms I am encouraged by all of the search terms that indicate people really are looking for answers and some are hopefully finding them through this blog. But there are also a lot of search terms that make me remember how sick this world really is and it reminds me of why we all need Jesus.