Search Terms That Make You Wonder…

I don’t have posts that are super light-hearted very often. Actually, make that never. But I can’t resist any longer, so here it goes.

As I am sure you have noticed, the title of my blog is pretty simple, could be considered controversial, and can also be misunderstood. To be honest, that is how I want it. I don’t want this to be a place that only Christians come across (although Christians are probably the main ones that are even contemplating the pros v. cons of masturbation). I want my blog to be something that anyone could happen upon regardless of their religion. I want people to know Jesus.

But now that I have been running this blog for more than six months, I have a good picture of what kind of person is viewing my blog when looking at their search terms. Sometimes, it is too good of an idea.

By now, most of you probably know my stance on pornography (it is pretty negative). If not, I will do a post on it sometime in the future I am sure. So, when I see some of these search terms I can’t help but laugh inside sometimes. For instance, a search term like “women who masturbate porn sex” makes me think that they were probably looking for something other than a Christian blog. And the fact that their search was interrupted by clicking on my blog kind of makes me sad and delighted at the same time.

I said I wasn’t going to get too deep in this blog, so I am just going to leave you with my top most ridiculous, disturbing, and hilarious search terms so far. Here it goes!

  1. “Women masturbation honeymoon” has actually come up quite a bit.
  2. “Women masturbate for cash” That is really sad.
  3. “Women are unhelpful” I literally laughed about that one.
  4. “Homeless people and health care” Haha! I did write a post kind of on this topic once, but I bet this person was a little shocked that my blog came up for it.
  5. “Masturbating with sheep heart” I really just don’t understand.
  6. “How to masturbate a goat” If someone wants to explain why anyone would be searching this, feel free (I may or may not allow your comment). This was searched several times. It is disturbing.

Those were the most outrageous so far. When I look through my search terms I am encouraged by all of the search terms that indicate people really are looking for answers and some are hopefully finding them through this blog. But there are also a lot of search terms that make me remember how sick this world really is and it reminds me of why we all need Jesus.

Testimonies

So, this post is going to be short, sweet, and to the point.

I just added a page called testimonies where I will be posting people’s testimonies about their struggles with pornography and/or masturbation. Sometimes, knowing that there are others out there who have a similar story as you do (especially in the church) can help you get to the other side. We are all unique in the way God made us, but many people share similar life stories that are meant to be shared to uplift and encourage one another.

If you are interested in having your own story posted, please contact me at my email: mtorik89@gmail.com and I will respect your anonymity.

Online Pornography’s Effects, and a New Way to Fight Them – Article

I came across an article recently while I was browsing through a phenomenal facebook group called Pornography Harms. I would recommend that anyone who has dealt with or is dealing with porn addiction to look through their page. They post all kinds of articles and some helpful websites relevant to the topic.

This particular article is going to be my post for the week, so I hope you will click on the link to read it! It has some good advice and a realistic look at how harmful pornographic viewing can be. You can read the full article HERE

Happy Mother’s Day everyone!

Images II

I recently talked about the importance of choosing the images that you focus on during sex with your husband. Translation for those who are single: don’t focus on any images now that you would not want in your mind then.

But that is not why I am writing this follow-up post. In my last point, I talked about how it is difficult to visualize my husband and I while we are having sex.

Some might point out that it makes sense and it would be difficult, you can’t see yourselves! Well, as you all know, this is the day and age of technology that makes all of your wildest dreams come true!

You could record or take sexy pictures to help you get turned on easily enough. And really, there is nothing wrong with this. But my husband and I won’t be doing this. Why?

Don’t get me wrong. We like to have a visual aspect of our experiences together, but we get that through other means that are not permanent.

The trap that I see lying in wait is this: placing our desires into something that is not only inanimate, but an image of who we once were sets us up for dissatisfaction in the future.

You both will gain and lose weight as the years go by. You both will become more wrinkled, less flexible, and the list could go on, but I really don’t want to depress you. If you allow yourself to focus on a younger version or a “better” version of yourself, you will struggle with feelings of discontent and longing for what once was. Perhaps you are that person who is completely confident in how you look and this is not a problem, but I know I am not that person and I believe there are many others who would feel the same.

I don’t want to give myself any more reasons to doubt my husband’s love for me and the desire he has for who I am now. He is satisfied with me. And I choose to believe him, even after gaining a few pounds and becoming less toned than I was in the beginning. I choose to believe him.

But if I were to find him looking at the pictures I could have given him at the beginning of our marriage more often than he looked at the body I have currently, I know that would affect me negatively. What would I do? Force him to throw them away? Allow him to continue, lowering my confidence along the way?

Instead, we chose to avoid that unpleasant decision making. We chose to be delighted in each other’s bodies as they are. Through the consistencies and changes of life, through joys and tragedies, we will learn to love and desire what is true in one another. I, for one, am excited to take this journey with my husband.

Porn within marriage: A wife’s perspective

I have always told my husband that if he ever struggles with pornography or masturbation during our marriage, that he can tell me.

Several months ago, God decided to test that statement.

My husband sat me down and told me he had something serious to confess to me. I already had an idea of what he was going to say, but was hoping it might be something else. He told me that a few months back he had looked at pornography. I think the natural instinct within me would have immediately lashed out at him, cried, withheld love, but instead the Holy Spirit took over. I forgave him.

Some people believe that you shouldn’t tell your spouse everything. In some regards, I think that is true. I don’t need to share unkind thoughts that I should keep to myself. I should watch what I say. But when it comes to our sin, I don’t think that is something we can keep from one another. It inadvertently puts a barrier between us.

My husband was telling me how it affected him before he confessed to me. It took him months to finally tell me. At first, he thought that I didn’t really need to know and it wouldn’t be helpful. But he kept thinking about it and praying about and realized that there were too many moments over that period of time where he found himself not being able to be fully honest with me. He also felt like he couldn’t tell his mentor what had happened in case it somehow got back to me. He knew that it was putting stress on our relationship.

He also shared with me that his mind had been preoccupied with thoughts about sex in general and it was making things more difficult for him.

At first, this piece of information hurt. I do everything I can to take care of my husband, and he always tells me that I couldn’t do anything else for him! In other words, I am a wonderful wife!

So why was he still struggling with thoughts about sex and why had he needed to look at porn? The realization: sex is much more than just a physical aspect of our lives. I of all people should have known this. There is a mental aspect that no husband or wife could ever satisfy. We are battling the sinful nature, and if we are not equipped we will always fail.

My husband has only looked at porn that one time since we have been married, but every now and then he asks me to pray for him because he realizes his thoughts are in places they shouldn’t be. It is my joy to pray for him about this. My desire is that he would never feel like he couldn’t share something like that with me.

I will admit, it is easier for me to hear things like this because of my past struggles with porn. I know what it is like. I know the way porn hooks your mind and doesn’t want to let go. It invades your thoughts until you give in. Because of knowing this, it is easy for me to pray for and forgive my husband.

For those who have never viewed porn, be thankful but don’t be judgmental. There is a God in heaven for that. Your job is to forgive and pray. Your husband may be depending on it.